


Alive

by Moon_light_28



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ex Sex, M/M, Post-Break Up, Smut, Sweet Louis, Vulnerable Harry Styles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 10:23:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20469464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moon_light_28/pseuds/Moon_light_28
Summary: Harry left Louis 13 months ago, they are seeing each other again for the first time at Lou's wedding. Feelings and sex are complicated, but what isn't.





	Alive

Louis can’t seem to get comfortable. It is hot. That is the problem. Who has a wedding outside in July in the middle of a heatwave? Lou, obviously that is who. If it would have been anyone else, he probably would have made an excuse to not be here at all, but here he is, in a black suit, under the sun, in a heatwave. He shifts in his seat again, trying to find a position that shields his face from the sun slightly.  
“Would you stop fidgeting, you are making me nervous!” Liam snaps, but his eyes soften as he takes in the state of his friend. “It’ll be fine” he continues.

“I’m not bloody nervous, I am not, in case you did not notice-“ but before he can launch into his perfectly prepared rant he is cut off by Liam.

“Yes, I know, “who in their right mind has an outdoor wedding in the middle of a heatwave” I heard you the first 20 times. Are we really going to pretend that you aren’t at all nervous to see Harry again?” Liam asks.

“Honestly Li, I don’t know what you have conjured up in your mind about me and Harry but I have nothing to be nervous about, it is in the past, he is in the past, we are adults, there is really nothing more to say” Louis states, adding an eyeroll to show just how ridiculous Liam is being.

He can’t sit there any longer with Liam radiating off pity next to him, so he goes to get a drink. A wedding is just a party after all, which means 1pm is the perfect time to start downing vodka sodas, Louis thinks to himself.

Three vodka sodas later and the wedding ceremony is over. Lottie was a bridesmaid, Lux was the flower girl, and Lou made a stunning bride. If he got a little choked up seeing some of his favorite girls up at the altar, no one could blame him, he would do anything to see them that happy every day of their lives. He goes it find Lottie once the crowd started dispersing. He catches sight of her blonde hair and in his haste not to lose sight of her, she is quite short even in heels and much to his displeasure he can’t see overtop of many of the guests himself, he stumbles on a chair leg. Maybe those drinks were a bit stronger than he thought. As he is bracing to hit the ground, someone grabs hold of his arm, stopping his fall but also possibly ripping his arm out of its socket. He steadies himself and turns to face his assailant. And standing inches away from him, is Harry Styles. Louis’ first thought was that he looked beautiful, and that is when he knew that those drinks were too strong.  
“Are you alright?” Harry asks, showing no sign of discomfort, or anger, or guilt, or any other emotion that you might expect when seeing an ex.

“besides you dislocating my shoulder I think I should be okay” Louis quipped back, disturbed by both his reaction to seeing Harry and Harry’s lack of reaction to seeing him.  
Harry breaks into a full smile much to Louis’ annoyance, and even more to his annoyance, his heart skips a beat because for a moment Harry looks 19 again, Harry looks like the boy he used to love. “I’m sorry,” Harry laughs, “next time I will just let you faceplant into the ground.”  
Louis manages to roll his eyes, turn around, and walk away, with some of his dignity still intact. Lottie lost, and forgotten, he makes his way back to Liam, who seems confused at Louis’ insistence to leave so quickly but thankfully doesn’t ask any questions or put up a fight. Liam drives them back to the hotel that many of the guests, them included, have rented rooms for the night because the reception is down the street, in an abandoned, and then restored, warehouse. The reception doesn’t start for a couple of hours so Louis goes to sleep off the sun and alcohol induced delirium that is causing Harry’s smile to run through his head, like a bad pop song you only know one line of. 

Louis woke up slightly dazed but much more in control of his thoughts. Instead of Harry’s smile flashing through his head, memories of coming home to a half empty apartment filled his mind. Sure, Harry looked beautiful today, he always looks beautiful, he even looked beautiful as he walked out of Louis’ life. But that was a year ago, Louis tries to push all of the emotions associated with those events to the side and threw on something that would show off his assets. Who knew, maybe he could find someone to take home tonight, Lou did have some attractive friends. 

The evening started off pretty well. He did some shots with Liam, him and Lottie took some ridiculous photos in the photobooth they had set up, and he spent some time dancing with Lux, who talked the entire time. She had a lot to say, which shocked Louis a bit, considering he always viewed her as a baby and how she was a little human with thoughts and ideas and wanted to express them all. He finally found Lou and congratulated her on the beautiful wedding, in which time she started to fix and style his hair. It was all a bit much, like stepping back in time, he felt 23 again, traveling the world, surrounded by all these people. Before he let himself get to deep into his thoughts, he decided to grab another drink. He had successfully avoided Harry so far tonight, but his luck ran out at the bar. 

Harry’s watched Louis as Louis ordered a drink, thought better of it, and ordered a shot as well. Louis could feel Harry’s eyes on him, even though they were on opposite ends of the bar. Louis downed the shot, looked around, and walked over to a pretty girl sitting at a nearby table. If Harry was going to watch, he may as well give him a show. 

His drink was half gone and the girl half way in his lap when Harry decided to unnecessarily insert himself back into Louis’ life, one that he was so desperate to escape not so long before. 

“Do you mind?” he asked, extending his hand to grasp hers. She slid off of Louis’ lap and stood up. Louis’ could not believe this. Harry, who he knows for a fact, has no interest in women, could have had any girl at this party and yet he stole one right off of Louis’ lap? The anger started to rise in him, and right as he was about to let out a poorly constructed sentence about how both the girl was an ass for going with Harry and Harry was an ass for stealing her away, Harry turned to the girl and said “Thanks” before dropping her hand and sitting down in the seat next to Louis. 

The girl looked between the two boys sitting at the table for a second, realized she was being dismissed, sent daggers at Harry and then stomped away. Louis was a bit confused to say the least, but he was not going to have his night ruined by some man that did not want him anymore, so he started to push back from the table, ready to be anywhere but here. 

“stop” Harry said softly, barely audible over the music coming from the dance floor.

Louis, not having any of it, downed the rest of his drink and started to stand up.

“stop” Harry stated again, louder, but still as gentle, “please”.

Louis sat back down, trying to gage what the other boy was after, “Harry, it is fine, we are fine, you don’t have to make peace with me or whatever you want to do to clear your conscious, I really don’t care anymore”.

Harry squints, confused. “Lou, that’s… that is not what I am trying to do.”  
“Okay so you really were just trying to get in the way of me and…” Louis waves off in the general direction that the girl went.  
“Like you care, you don’t even know her name”  
“Trust me, that really did not matter to me or her”  
“Oh are you some expert on picking up women now?” the jealousy blatant in his voice.  
Now Louis is really confused, and mad, and not for the first time today regrets mixing Harry and alcohol.  
“What the actual fuck are you on about Harry, 13 months ago I come home to find half of our flat empty, I find half of my life packed up in boxes, I find you standing there, with nothing to say to me, with no explanation except for that it is “time to move on”. That’s all I got. The life I had built, the life we had built, destroyed, because it was “time to move on”. Here I was thinking the next “move” we would make was me getting down on one knee asking you to marry me. I thought we would be at a wedding together this summer, but not like this, I pictured us at an alter exchanging our vows. Yet here we are, you seeming to not care at all about me, and at the same time jealous of a girl I was talking to? Make it make sense Harry, because once again, I have no idea what you are thinking. Maybe I never did.” Louis finishes his rant, proud of himself for getting through it without losing his cool.  
Harry looks like Louis just told him aliens were taking over the earth, equal parts shocked and astounded. “you were going to propose?” his voice cracking, like he was 16 and not 25.  
“It does not matter at all what I was going to do, I want to know why-“Louis stops, Harry is pale, much paler than he was moments ago. “hey, are you okay?”  
“you were going to propose?” Harry asks again.

“Harry why are you doing this, it was in the past, but yes of course I was going to propose, I knew how much of a romantic you were, didn’t quite have it all figured out before you picked up and left but yeah… had the ring and all, I was looking at new places in LA, since I knew that is where you wanted to be…” Louis rambles, unsure of why Harry needs to know “anyways, as fun as it was exposing how idiotic I was to think you wanted to marry me, I really think I should get back to the party”

“No” Harry mumbles “no, I don’t understand, you were leaving me” 

“I was not, I would never, you were my fucking life, I promised you every day for years that I would love you and only you” but even as he said this, the frustration was leaving his voice, because Harry kept getting paler and looked terrified.

“kiss me” 

That was it, Louis was done, he was hurt and confused and had no idea what Harry was after but he couldn’t take this anymore. He finally stood up from the table and walked away, away from Harry and his past. It did not take long before he felt a hand on his shoulder, he should have known it wouldn’t be that easy, he was never very good at outrunning the past.  
Harry spun him around, leaned down to him and right against his lips whispered, “please Louis, kiss me”. Louis knew this was a terrible idea, there was no other way to describe it, but the reminiscing of the night, the alcohol, and the boy that rejected him wanting him back was too much to resist. So, he leaned in and kissed the boy he kissed for 7 years, every morning, and every night. He kissed him for the first time in a year, and a flood of emotions came rushing back.  
Louis was at least smart enough to realize how public this was getting, and decided that no matter where this went, they needed privacy. To yell, to cry, to fuck. He wasn’t sure where it was going but he knew it would be better without an audience.  
He led Harry out of the warehouse, down the street and to his hotel room. Neither of them saying anything, but when Harry grabbed at Louis hand, he didn’t pull away.  
Before Louis had even shut the door, Harry was already taking off his shirt. Louis was honestly questioning what was going on in his life and if there would be a camera crew ready to jump out and yell “you’ve been pranked” because that would make more sense than what was happening right now.

Louis reached for the other boy, stopping him from stripping down completely, “Harry, Haz, what is going on here baby?”

“you were going to marry me”

“yeah”

“and move to LA for me?”

“I mean I love London but LA just made more sense, for us”

“you hate LA”

“didn’t really matter where I was, after spending months in a half empty apartment, I can promise you location doesn’t mean shit to me”

Then Harry, unable to hold it together any longer, lets out a sob, tears start falling, and through them he keeps repeating “and I left you, and I left you, and I left you”.  
Louis, unable to take seeing the boy who broke his heart, cry, lifts up his chin, brushes the tears from his cheeks, and kisses him softly. Harry melts into Louis’ body, hands finding Louis’ small waist, as he bites Louis’ lower lip, asking for more, needing more.  
Louis thoughts disappear and all he can think about are his hands on Harry. Harry’s back was more muscular than he remembers, his arms as well. Louis takes a step back to look at Harry, and for the first time it hits him how much he has changed in the last year. Harry lost any lasting babyface that he had carried through his early 20’s. Louis quickly rid himself of his own shit and pants and Harry doing the same. It was easy to fall back into the familiar, although it had been a year since they had sex together, they had 7 years of habit to rely on. Louis gently pushed Harry down onto the bed and started to kiss the sensitive skin of his neck. Gently biting, careful not to leave a mark. Harry’s tears had turned into moans, as he began rocking up underneath Louis, trying to find any sort of friction. 

“Babe, Baby, calm down, I’ve got you” Louis mumbles as he kisses his way down Harry’s body, past the swallow tattoos, past the butterfly, stopping at the laurels, to bite lightly over his favorite tattoos. First grazing his teeth over the right one, and then the left, until Harry started bucking his hips again, desperate for attention. Harry gasped when Louis finally slid off Harry’s boxers, he gave feather light touches to Harry’s cock, knowing it would drive the boy wild and calm him down at the same time. 

“Louis, Lou please, I need you”

“What do you need darling” Louis asked. Harry used to be so sure of himself in bed, even when he was needy and desperate, but when Louis looked up at Harry, he knew something had changed. Harry had his eyes closed, just whimpering. He did not know what to make of this change in behavior. Louis reached up and kissed Harry again, long, deep, and full of passion, hoping to make the other boy more relaxed. 

Louis saw he would have to take more of a lead then he used to. 

“Do you want me to suck you off darling, is that what you are desperate for?” Louis asked, beginning again to stroke Harry’s cock. 

Harry nodded.

“Yeah? Or do you want me to fuck you.”

At that, Harry lost it. “Please Louis, please fuck me, need you in me, I-, I-, please Lou, I-“

“okay darling, it’s okay, I’ll give you what you want”

Harry began rutting against Louis hand, whining “yes, need it”

“I know baby” Louis went on to say, “I know you need my cock, you will get it, I promise”

Louis then stood from the bed, taking off his boxers and going to get lube and a condom from his bag when Harry let out the most pitiful sounding “don’t leave”.

Once again Louis was taken back by how much Harry had changed, and it concerned him slightly. “I’m just going to go grab some lube from my bag sweetheart, I am not going anywhere”

When Louis returned to the bed, even as hard and desperate to get inside Harry as he was, he had to know. “Baby, what is going on, what has made you so shy?”

“I’m sorry just please” Harry cried out, avoiding eye contact with Louis.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me, shhh, it is alright, I’m here, I won’t go anywhere” Louis tried to comfort the obviously still nervous man laying in front of him.

“he… he didn’t like me loud, he didn’t like me demanding, he didn’t stay”

“oh baby, no, you are perfect, I love how you know what you want, I love how you moan so pretty for me, I love you”

It was a mistake, he didn’t mean to say it, he just needed to comfort Harry. But Harry let out a chocked sob before mumbling “me too, I love you too”. At that confession Louis started to kiss all over Harry’s face, starting at his hairline, then his eyelids, his nose, the corners of his lips. Between kisses he told Harry how beautiful he was, how important he was, how special he was. In the back of his head he tried to block out the voice saying that someone else had gotten to touch Harry, that he wasn’t the only one that knew Harry’s body anymore, someone else was out there, someone who had made Harry question himself, but Harry was under him, wanted him, that is all that mattered. Everything else could be dealt with later.

Louis was over waiting now, and by the way Harry moved under his hands, so was he. 

“spread your legs love, so good for me baby”

Louis coated his fingers with lube before teasingly ghosting a finger over the whimpering boy’s hole. Determined to bring some of the confidence back to Harry, Louis asked “Do you want more, baby, want my fingers inside you, open you up for my cock”

“yes, yes, please, I want it all” Harry managed to say.

Louis pushed one finger past the ring of tight muscles and Louis can already see Harry falling apart. Harry buries his face in his bicep, which is not going to work for Louis. “Haz, I need you to look at me, I don’t want you covering that pretty little mouth of yours. You know how I love to hear you”

Harry then uncovers his face, his eyes wide, pupils dilated. 

Louis adds another finger, causing the younger boy to moan. “that’s it baby,” Louis compliments, “I love to hear you, always so hot, can’t help but touch myself when I hear you sound like that.”  
Harry looks down at where Louis has his hand wrapped around his own dick, jerking himself off slowly, and speaks slowly, still cautious “yeah, love… love when you touch yourself because of me”.

“You see what you do to me” Louis asks, “you see how much I want you?”

Louis adds a third finger, “does that feel good baby?” he asks, and before Harry can respond Louis finds his prostate, causing Harry to let out a stream of “fuck, please” and “yes there there there”. 

“Are you ready sweetheart? Ready to take my cock honey?” Louis asks, smirking.

“Louis, please, want your cock, want to be filled up by you, only you, please please I need it, I need it” Harry manages to string together.

“Okay baby, I have you, I’ll give it too you, you have been so good for me, so good”

Louis removes his fingers, causing Harry to whine slightly, then opens up the condom. This causes Harry to start to shift. Louis can see the look in his eyes, how he flashes back to reality for a moment, how they are not the only ones each other has slept with in years anymore. “I’m clean” Harry all but whispers, and in the moment Louis hates himself a bit, because he doesn’t know if he is, there was one girl last week and he just can’t risk anything, not with Harry. “Just for now” Louis says. Trying not to think about if there will be a next time. He continues to slick up his cock and lets Harry feel his head, right outside his entrance. Leaning forward to kiss Harry.

“Are you alright, love” Louis whispers against the boys pink lips?

Harry nods, and Louis slowly pushes in. “You’re so tight baby, feel so good” Louis stammers.

“Louis, I need more, I need more now please please.”

Louis does not have to be told twice, he sits back on his knees, holding Harry’s hips in place as he picks up speed. Harry has the softest sweetest sounds coming out of his pretty pink lips and Louis can’t imagine anyone wanting to keep this boy quiet. Harry is almost there already, and Louis knows he isn’t far behind. He lifts Harry’s legs over his shoulders and starts fucking him like he knows the boy likes it. Nailing his prostate each time, with practiced precision. 

“I’m going to come, Lou, I’m going to please please” Harry all but shouts. 

“Yeah baby, let go, let me hear you” Louis encourages, as he wraps a fist around Harry’s hard and leaking cock. Harry comes with a shout, green eyes locked on blue, and Louis came moments later. 

Louis used the excuse of needing to clean Harry up to get him in the shower, where he proceeded to kiss every inch of the taller man’s body and whisper sweet nothings to him. Harry, in his fucked out state, was perfectly willing to take every compliment and kiss that Louis had to give. 

They crawled into Louis’ hotel bed later that night, neither one considering Harry sleeping anywhere but in Louis’ arms. Harry fell asleep shortly after, Louis was not so lucky. He lay awake with the boy he used to love in his arms. Did he love him now, he told him he did, but was that just in the moment? Harry left him 13 months ago without any sort of reasoning, but how could that be the same boy he was holding now? Louis thought he was ready to move on with his life, leave Harry, and the idea of everlasting love behind, but now given an opportunity to get it back he wasn’t so sure. Part of him wanted to run, to grab his bag and leave before Harry even woke up, but he knew that would accomplish nothing. He would still be lost, and Harry would be hurt. Louis wasn’t going to just leave with no explanation, not like the guy who left Harry in this venerable state. Louis wasn’t going to just leave with no explanation, not like Harry when he left 13 months ago. Maybe a lack of communication drove Harry away the first time, maybe an inability to communicate will drive them apart again, but Louis isn’t going to make that decision for them tonight. He is scared, terrified of being left and broken again, but love is meant to be scary, life is meant to be lived, and Harry makes him feel alive.


End file.
